Every child should have at least two mothers. The second mother can be a neighbor, aunt, gramma, friend, spouse or well trained labradoodle. Having an extra set of eyes or hands is crucial to parental sanity. One thing you can't have enough of is help.
Even Lady Granthum agrees, "Parenting is hard enough, even when you like the child."
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| cousins in Seattle pic by Auntie Kirsten |
When there's an age gap between siblings or cousins, it's like home-bred childcare. Older siblings and cousins can be vital second mothers, filling in on playground and carpool duty or handing you a clean diaper, depending on the age. Even if they complain, they enjoy the responsibility.
My eldest has stepped in to help my sister with her kids while simultaneously she is helping me with him. My cousin's daughter has done the same. When I was little I often stayed with my aunt's family in Texas for the summer. I was mothered by her and my five older cousins. When my parents divorced one of those older cousins came to stay with us for a few weeks to help my mom with the move, and she learned to drive a stick shift out of necessity. And I learned what skinny dipping was. Win-win.
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| cousins in Switzerland pic by Auntie Kirsten |
Lady Grantham: "One forgets about parenthood. The on-and-on-ness of it."
Isobel Crawley: "Were you a very involved mother?.....I'd imagined them surrounded by nannies and governesses, being starched and ironed to spend an hour with you after tea."
Lady Grantham: "Yes, but it was an hour every day."
Mary Allison Tierney's essay The Gingerdreadman is included in the anthology Mamas Write, available at Amazon, or your local independent bookshop.
My mom was a single mother. Her parents and siblings helped her a great deal. I loved having my cousins, aunts, uncles and grandparents around. It's a win-win situation for everyone when family members and friends help out.
ReplyDeleteAllison - I could not agree more! thanks!
DeleteDepends on the age of the child, I should think. Some kids may come to resent being leaned on in this way. Others will enjoy it. But mothers need all the help they can get. It's a hard job.
ReplyDeleteLiz, you are so right! I had to pick Friday or Saturday to go out when I was a teen, as my mom wanted a night out too!. I was dating Captain Stubing every Friday night for a while there...
DeleteHi Mary .. depends on the family .. but it'd have been lovely if we'd had plenty of cousins around us - they were there, but some distance away ..
ReplyDeleteSounds like your life worked .. and you all had fun, and now are reaping the rewards and help in many ways .. cheers Hilary
Thanks Hilary - we were in Arizona and would drive to Texas (a two day drive) to be dropped at my aunt's house. Never a dull moment thought!
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